bsumone | ❝ Masquerade ❞

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❝ Masquerade ❞

{ seething shadows breathing lies }

Traditional thing that Iseul is, he made a point of sending out invitations to every monster and supernatural being with whom he's acquainted the day after telling Damian of his masked ball. Each is written in a large, looping hand and reads:

My Dear Friend,

You are cordially invited to a most exclusive masquerade ball to be held at my estate on the next new moon. The attire is formal with a theme of silver and gold. My doors will open promptly at 8:00pm. Dinner will be served with music, dance, and festivities to follow.

I do so look forward to your attendance.

Kindest Regards,
Your Host

Iseul's calling card is included for those who may not recognize his handwriting. It also happens to have his address on it, as well.

Guests will find the house dark and sprawling, positively goth in decor and style. For those who know or know of Iseul, this won't be a surprise. There's a running joke in the community that the Fae is truly meant to be a vampire... more so than his long-standing vampire rival. Those in attendance will be shown to the parlor, the pocket doors thrown wide to the adjoining suite to make it something of a small ballroom. Musicians sit off to the corner playing with few breaks throughout the night.

The dining room boasts a long table with a veritable banquet. Though, one must be careful about eating Faerie food. Never fear, dear guests, for none of this food was prepared or even harvested by Fae hands. Outside, the grounds are covered with sprawling flower gardens, topiaries, and even a small maze of hedges. Lanterns light the paths since there's no moon for light. Both in and out, the house has many dark nooks and crannies and unoccupied to rooms to disappear into. All guests are welcome to stay if, for any reason, they are unable to leave at first light.

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Typically, Matthias prefers to socialize with fewer predators, creatures whose strengths and weaknesses he can better estimate without having an altercation to test them. He prefers to be the dangerous one. Here, among so many other ancient and powerful beings? Well, he's not so sure of his standing here.

But it isn't uncomfortable. It merely makes him a smidge more cautious. These are not the sorts of creatures he wants to make enemies of. Hell, he doesn't even want any of them to find some grudge against him. He keeps all that to himself, hidden away out of view from his expression. Instead, he arches a brow at Sam, his smile fading to something more neutral.

"You suppose? That doesn't sound like the answer of someone having a good time." It's times like this when Matthias despises the difference in their height; times when he can't simply sling an arm around Sam's shoulders and drag the wolf off for whatever mischief he has in mind. Of course, he could, but it would be terribly awkward. "C'mon. There's a lot here to explore. Let's see if was can't make you one fond unforgettable moment tonight, hm~?"

It wasn't as if he was trying to avoid having fun really. Even if he was sure it could come across that way. But honestly it could be a challenge to just have a good time sometimes when he was on his own. He could get so lost in his own thoughts and then the fun would stop and...

Sam tilted his head at what Matthias saying then laughed softly. "Honestly if it's a memory made with you then it will already be fond and unforgettable to me."

And he really meant that too. Perhaps Matthias could never return his feelings but that didn't make him care about him less. It just meant he had to keep his heart to himself and enjoy what he was able to have.

“Listen to you, being all sentimental~” He reaches over to playfully swat Sam’s shoulder, then nods off in another direction. “I’ve been through no fewer than five different gardens here and I still think there are some I haven’t yet!” It sounds like he’s whining, but for someone who knows Matthias as well as Sam does, they’d know it’s an invitation.

“I should never have let you go off on your own. It’s been dull all by myself.” Though he’s spent plenty of time chatting with other guests, they just don’t hit the same note as Sam. Maybe it’s because they’ve been companions for a while. Maybe it’s just the flavor of him that pulls Matthias back again and again. Not like he’s tried hard (or at all) to leave.

“What have you been doing without me, hm?”

"Mostly talking to people at the party. Spending time watching people." In other words, not much of anything really. He'd mostly just been getting a feel for everyone around him and actually really enjoying that. Even if it probably wasn't what one, even himself, might call fun. But he didn't suppose he always needed to have fun.

He was now though. Now that he was here with Matthias. A demon who made him smile and made him remember what it was like to feel hope again.

"Has is really been so dull for you without me?" How curious.

Not actively having fun doesn’t mean something is miserable. However, Matthias was a creature who needed constant entertainment or, at the very least, distraction. Typically, he made it for himself, but it almost always required others. He’s just a very social creature even if much of his social interactions are faked. That’s the thing with Sam: he knows what Matthias is. Matthias doesn’t have to play a part for him. He doesn’t have to pretend there’s some deeper meaning to everything he said and did with Sam. It’s oddly comfortable.

Taking another sip from their glass (yes, it’s theirs now), Matthias’ brows lifted and he nodded several times. “Lovely as all this is, flowers make for dull conversation. Besides, it’s nighttime. They’re all folded up and refusing to be admired.” H huffed out softly through his nose. The demon was nothing if not dramatic about these smallest of inconveniences.

He stared off into the middle distance for a moment, then sighed in earnest. “It’s like walking on eggshells with them. They’re all so… stuffy and easy to leap to offense.” The last thing Matthias wanted in his life was an immortal nemesis. Being locked together in some eternal battle was not his idea of fun.

"The party is a lot like the ones of old I used to attend back when I was Hwarang. Everyone smiling but everyone careful about what they say. Who they say it too. Carefully assessing..."

Sam shook his head then smiled over at Matthias. "An immortal nemesis doesn't suit you. But if anyone were to bother you..."

He paused then shook his head, just walking a few steps away to look up at the sky instead. "The stars are so beautiful tonight."

Matthias hummed in agreement. The idea of playing chess with some other immortal creature for the rest of forever was not appealing in the least. Even he takes breaks from toying with people now and then. No, no, he’s definitely not in the market for a lifelong enemy, thanks.

That dangling offer left an itch Matthias can’t help but scratch. He followed behind Sam, hooking a hand around him arm so he couldn’t escape any further. Oh, he’s sure it’s Sam being gallant and offering to protect him. Someday, Matthias may need that. However, at present, any ‘enemies’ he’s made are all baseline humans with little or no means of affecting any real harm to him.

Still, he’s charmed by the thought. Or rather, what he assumed was the thought.

“Wait, wait, you can’t just change the subject like that!” Why? Because Matthias said so.

Sam looked back to him. He hesitated a moment then shook his head. "It was nothing really. A desire to protect someone I deeply care about. But you don't need my protection so it's a silly thing."

The wolf sighed and went to remove his mask so he could fix his hair. Strands fell elegantly into his eyes just as they always did. Like they were just artfully meant to be there even when he wasn't realizing it. "I've known for a long time that you don't need my protection, that you're likely to only ever care about your own needs and pleasures. But that will never stop me from adoring you, Matthias. I'm content for it to only be on my side but when I think of you being troubled by others it doesn't stop my desire to protect you."

Oh. Oh, he’s being very earnest. Almost too earnest. Matthias long wondered if there weren’t some feelings on Sam’s part. Maybe not romantic, but something still more than platonic. He never asked because he didn’t need to know. Feelings only mattered when he could toy with them and, truly, he had no desire to play those kinds of games with Sam. Sam knew exactly what Matthias was. The wolf didn’t need to be manipulated to give Matthias what he needed. So there was no need for Matthias to worm into his inner life.

“You don’t need my protection, either. You have it, nonetheless.”

Alright, let’s just avoid that whole feelings part. Matthias knew he was a selfish creature. It’s the nature of most demons. Sam didn’t need him to confirm what they both knew was true. Nor did Sam need him to deny how much he enjoyed being adored. Being on the receiving side of whatever undefined feelings Sam had has had Matthias basking like a cat in midday sunshine for years, decades! One of the reasons he was so comfortable with Sam was because Sam never expected any reciprocation. Nevermind that Matthias actually did consider the wolf as something of a friend.

That was...not what he expected to hear. He didn't want to believe that Matthias suddenly had feelings for him. That couldn't be possible. But the fact that he would want to protect him? And it really felt like he meant it as more than just to keep his food source safe as well. So Sam was quiet for a moment to process before he had to shake his head.

No. At most they were likely to only ever be friends. He had to be content with that. He was content with that.

Right?

The wolf smiled a little and reached to take the hand that was holding his arm. Giving it a squeeze, he looked over at the demon, tilting his head a little bit as he did so. "Thank you. That is very kind of you. I'm glad that I have you in my life, Matthias. I really would be lost without you."

Kind? Hardly. It’s selfishness that motivated him. When Matthias picked someone, they were his until he was through with them. Sam’s no exception to that. He honestly expected the wolf to tire of him long before now. Yet here they were, still living together in relative harmony after all this time.

“Don’t fool yourself, Su-bin. I’m not kind.”

No, not kind. Nice, perhaps? When he wanted to be. Matthias never had any reason to be anything but nice to Sam. He didn’t need to prod him or give gentle shoves in some direction or other to make him feel what Matthias wanted him to feel. He certainly never tried to kindle romantic feelings in Sam. He didn’t need to. Sam knew exactly what Matthias was. There’s no need to play with him like that.

Did he suspect some attachment? Sure. You don’t just stick around for decade upon decade without some attachment. Maybe he’s even a little attached, too. It’s easy to be around Sam. He never questioned Matthias’ reasons or actions. He never expected anything of him. Matthias has been able to be himself, truly himself, with this wolf.

“Didn’t I say I’d stay until one of us tired of the other?”

To someone else? These words would have been cruel. They would have hurt. But Sam? He just smiled softly and took the hand he was holding to bring it to his lips. A soft press to his knuckles and then he looked at the demon's handsome features. Then he stepped closer so he could cup his face next, thumb gently rubbing over his cheek.

"It's alright, Matthias. I've always known this is all I'll ever have from you. You don't need to remind me."

Leaning forward, he gave him a fond kiss to his temple then stepped back again. "Come. Let's walk together. The night is beautiful and I feel so much more at peace when I have you with me."

And this is why Matthias stuck around. Sam surprised him. In his long existence, he’s rarely met someone who would accept having their feelings unrequited in the specific way Sam’s were. Who would want to cohabitate with someone they’re pining for? Who would want to sleep every night beside someone who couldn’t love them back? Who would want to go through all the motions of affection without actually having it?

Sam, apparently.

Matthias nodded slightly, walking off in the direction of the gardens he’d yet to explore. That was their original destination, after all. His silence was heavier than usual, his mind churning with the confirmation of his suspicions. Also, he wondered why he cared if Sam was happy or not? Okay, so maybe Matthias has grown fond of his companion. He chose, Sam, after all. Didn’t that make Sam his?

Oh, Sam could have more, just not emotionally.

“Have you fallen in love with me?” There’s no playfulness in his tone. No, he’s actually taking Sam’s feelings seriously.

As they walked, Sam looked at all the plants around them. They were absolutely stunning and he loved beholding them. But he was soon pulled from his thoughts by that question, one that he could tell was taking his feelings into consideration. He watched him for a time and then looked back to the plants around them.

For a time, he was quiet, gathering his thoughts together to figure out what to actually say. What would be good to even say here?

Only he already knew the answer. The truth.

"I fell in love with you years ago. Back in our early days in America." And then he'd kept his feelings to himself and loved Matthias all this time. Never telling him or letting him know until now. Always aware that he wouldn't have his feelings returned. Was it a punishment? No. Not at all. Just an acceptance that this was how life was for him now. This was who he'd fallen for.

"I don't know if demons are capable of love so I thought that at least I could enjoy my time with you until you grew tired of me. It has just been nice that you still haven't. That you still come home to me every single night and stay with me while I sleep. I know I'm an entertaining meal for you but at least I get to see you smile and laugh. And, even though at times it hurts, I'd rather have that than nothing at all."

He didn’t have to say a thing for Matthias to suspect it. And Matthias never asked. It’s not that he doesn’t enjoy complication. When he toyed with others, it was always complicated. But things with Sam were always straightforward. Out of respect, he didn’t try to manipulate Sam for anything. It wasn’t necessary.

Could he admit that Sam was more than just a meal? He was someone Matthias viewed, at the very least, as a friend. Not only did he make Matthias’ existence easier, he made it comfortable. He was like a beacon that always led the demon home no matter what he got up to. Sam was home.

But Matthias wasn’t capable of loving someone (or so he thought). It’s not in his nature to have those kinds of warm, soft feelings for others. Keeping his gaze fixed directly ahead, Matthias exhaled slowly. He couldn’t give Sam what he wanted but…

“We can be lovers, if you want.”

"You don't have to appease me, Matthias. If we're only ever friends then I'll be happy still. As long as I can be with you then it's enough for me."

Because it was better than not having Matthias at all. Better than having his heart ache for him and never getting to see him. To laugh and smile with him. To see how he relaxed when he played with his hair. Or how comfortable it was to know he was there while slept.

Sam knew that it was like living off of droplets of water in a desert and yet...

And yet he didn't want to stop.

"I live with so many regrets in my life that I worry being lovers with you while knowing I'll never have your heart will give me the one regret that will destroy me. I can't bring myself to do that knowing that you enjoy being able to feed off of me. Though I've dreamed of being with you that way..." Sam sighed and shook his head. "I'm content as I am."

He’s content. Was that enough? Was it when Matthias could take him to all the beautiful places, could kiss him senseless in each of them he could never go back to them without tasting Matthias like blood in his mouth? Was content enough when Matthias could make it seem so very real? He’s done it before. Over and over again, he’s made people fall for him, convinced them of the reality of it, that he couldn’t live without them, that his passion for them was endless, that none other would ever be in his heart.

But Sam knew better. No amount of pretending could undo that fact.

“For what it’s worth, no one else will have it, either.”

The words felt hollow, almost cold, even as he spoke them. Another huff of exhaled breath and he reached out to catch Sam’s arm once again to stop him in his tracks.

“I chose you, Su-bin. That makes you mine.”

There. That felt more truthful. Matthias did endeavor to be honest with Sam when it really mattered.

Stopping in his tracks, he looked back to his demon friend. He'd chosen him and that made him belong to Matthias. A smile formed on his lips that didn't quite reach his eyes, a sadness lingering there. While this was true and he knew that it was...it wouldn't change that he could give all of himself to Matthias and never have all of him in return.

"You did. And I am."

He'd embraced that and accepted it long ago. Stepping closer, he reached out to rest and hand over where Matthias' chest. There he rested it a moment, quiet and thoughtful. "I chose you but I can't make you mine. So I'll always be yours until you tire of me. Then I'll probably be lost to the wanderings of time like so many others you have claimed."

His hand lowered and he lifted his gaze to look into his eyes. "You can't love me and I know that. But you'll always have my love regardless of that. There will never be any other but you for me until time claims me finally."

Then he tilted his head a little. "May I ask why you are trying so hard to reassure me right now? It's not like you. You usually just leave me to my feelings and find your pleasures elsewhere."

Why, indeed? It’s unlike Matthias. A crease formed between his brows and the demon frowned in earnest. Nothing Sam said was untrue. As far as Matthias was concerned, he had no heart to give, not in a metaphorical sense. What didn’t sit well with him was that he didn’t want Sam to be unhappy.

But why? He’s never felt this way with any humans he’s toyed with. Oh, they were his in the sense that he didn’t want anyone else messing with them or hurting them while he could still wring something worth devouring out of them. But Sam had never been some mere plaything. An easy meal? Sure. Somewhere along the line, he became a companion Matthias looked upon fondly.

“Do you think you don’t bring me pleasure?” Perhaps not pleasure of a sexual nature, but other kinds, certainly.

"I bring you some but I assume I can't bring you everything since you often go to play with others."

Which made sense to him. Sam was probably not that exciting really. And if Matthias didn't love him then what reason would he have to actually stay with him? What reason to want to prioritize him over his own desires? In the depths of his depressions it could break his heart but the rest of the time he just embraced it.

"You have no reason to stay with me all the time. Your satisfactions have to come from somewhere else I assume."

For a long moment, Matthias just stared at the wolf. Something clouded his dark eyes, making them seem unreadable for an instant. There was too much warring in his mind to let it show. Enough of it already had.

Time stretched on until it seemed as if Matthias might say nothing more at all. He even moved as if he might turn away to return to their stroll, then stopped. Not once, but twice.

“Do you want me to stop?”

There was...there was something going on in Matthias' mind. These expressions weren't anything that he'd ever seen before. Frowning, he tried to understand them, tried to comprehend... But in the end he just couldn't. He even reached out to stop him from walking further but then his friend stopped entirely.

"...stop? Stop what?"

What was he asking him?

“Finding pleasures elsewhere,” he answer without a moment’s thought. “Do you want me to stop?” For you I will, his eyes seemed to say. Matthias was sure his heart beat faster with that question. He was sure Sam could hear it, that physical manifestation of anxiousness that came out of nowhere. Why was he anxious? What did he have to worry about?

Sam's eyes widened in surprise. That was what he'd meant? And he even looked like he'd actually do it too. For him. But...but why? He had no reason to since he had no feelings for him.

...did he have no feelings for him? He could tell that Matthias was getting anxious, something that wasn't typical for him. He never worried about things like this. So why...

Reaching out, he cupped his cheek and looked down into those dark, dark eyes. "Describe how you feel when you think about me, please. I want to... I need to hear it."

Once more, Matthias’ brows furrowed. He owed Sam a careful examination, an honest answer. Self-reflection like this wasn’t something the demon enjoyed. He much preferred being flighty and spontaneous, without depth or care. And yet…

He cared about Sam. Cared about his feelings and his well-being. Even missed him if they were parted for any significant amount of time (it’s been known to happen if Matthias chose to spend a few days or more with one of his playthings).

“You’re…” Mine felt like a non-answer.

“I, he began again, “want to keep you safe… from danger, from pain. I strive to be honest with you when it matters most.” That’s not something Matthias can say for most. He lies and twists as easily as he breathes. “You are simultaneously the light that leads me home and home itself.”

All uttered in slow, broken thoughts, as if spoken as they came to his head without any filter.

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