bsumone | ❝ Masquerade ❞

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❝ Masquerade ❞

{ seething shadows breathing lies }

Traditional thing that Iseul is, he made a point of sending out invitations to every monster and supernatural being with whom he's acquainted the day after telling Damian of his masked ball. Each is written in a large, looping hand and reads:

My Dear Friend,

You are cordially invited to a most exclusive masquerade ball to be held at my estate on the next new moon. The attire is formal with a theme of silver and gold. My doors will open promptly at 8:00pm. Dinner will be served with music, dance, and festivities to follow.

I do so look forward to your attendance.

Kindest Regards,
Your Host

Iseul's calling card is included for those who may not recognize his handwriting. It also happens to have his address on it, as well.

Guests will find the house dark and sprawling, positively goth in decor and style. For those who know or know of Iseul, this won't be a surprise. There's a running joke in the community that the Fae is truly meant to be a vampire... more so than his long-standing vampire rival. Those in attendance will be shown to the parlor, the pocket doors thrown wide to the adjoining suite to make it something of a small ballroom. Musicians sit off to the corner playing with few breaks throughout the night.

The dining room boasts a long table with a veritable banquet. Though, one must be careful about eating Faerie food. Never fear, dear guests, for none of this food was prepared or even harvested by Fae hands. Outside, the grounds are covered with sprawling flower gardens, topiaries, and even a small maze of hedges. Lanterns light the paths since there's no moon for light. Both in and out, the house has many dark nooks and crannies and unoccupied to rooms to disappear into. All guests are welcome to stay if, for any reason, they are unable to leave at first light.

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Oh. Oh, he’s being very earnest. Almost too earnest. Matthias long wondered if there weren’t some feelings on Sam’s part. Maybe not romantic, but something still more than platonic. He never asked because he didn’t need to know. Feelings only mattered when he could toy with them and, truly, he had no desire to play those kinds of games with Sam. Sam knew exactly what Matthias was. The wolf didn’t need to be manipulated to give Matthias what he needed. So there was no need for Matthias to worm into his inner life.

“You don’t need my protection, either. You have it, nonetheless.”

Alright, let’s just avoid that whole feelings part. Matthias knew he was a selfish creature. It’s the nature of most demons. Sam didn’t need him to confirm what they both knew was true. Nor did Sam need him to deny how much he enjoyed being adored. Being on the receiving side of whatever undefined feelings Sam had has had Matthias basking like a cat in midday sunshine for years, decades! One of the reasons he was so comfortable with Sam was because Sam never expected any reciprocation. Nevermind that Matthias actually did consider the wolf as something of a friend.

That was...not what he expected to hear. He didn't want to believe that Matthias suddenly had feelings for him. That couldn't be possible. But the fact that he would want to protect him? And it really felt like he meant it as more than just to keep his food source safe as well. So Sam was quiet for a moment to process before he had to shake his head.

No. At most they were likely to only ever be friends. He had to be content with that. He was content with that.

Right?

The wolf smiled a little and reached to take the hand that was holding his arm. Giving it a squeeze, he looked over at the demon, tilting his head a little bit as he did so. "Thank you. That is very kind of you. I'm glad that I have you in my life, Matthias. I really would be lost without you."

Kind? Hardly. It’s selfishness that motivated him. When Matthias picked someone, they were his until he was through with them. Sam’s no exception to that. He honestly expected the wolf to tire of him long before now. Yet here they were, still living together in relative harmony after all this time.

“Don’t fool yourself, Su-bin. I’m not kind.”

No, not kind. Nice, perhaps? When he wanted to be. Matthias never had any reason to be anything but nice to Sam. He didn’t need to prod him or give gentle shoves in some direction or other to make him feel what Matthias wanted him to feel. He certainly never tried to kindle romantic feelings in Sam. He didn’t need to. Sam knew exactly what Matthias was. There’s no need to play with him like that.

Did he suspect some attachment? Sure. You don’t just stick around for decade upon decade without some attachment. Maybe he’s even a little attached, too. It’s easy to be around Sam. He never questioned Matthias’ reasons or actions. He never expected anything of him. Matthias has been able to be himself, truly himself, with this wolf.

“Didn’t I say I’d stay until one of us tired of the other?”

To someone else? These words would have been cruel. They would have hurt. But Sam? He just smiled softly and took the hand he was holding to bring it to his lips. A soft press to his knuckles and then he looked at the demon's handsome features. Then he stepped closer so he could cup his face next, thumb gently rubbing over his cheek.

"It's alright, Matthias. I've always known this is all I'll ever have from you. You don't need to remind me."

Leaning forward, he gave him a fond kiss to his temple then stepped back again. "Come. Let's walk together. The night is beautiful and I feel so much more at peace when I have you with me."

And this is why Matthias stuck around. Sam surprised him. In his long existence, he’s rarely met someone who would accept having their feelings unrequited in the specific way Sam’s were. Who would want to cohabitate with someone they’re pining for? Who would want to sleep every night beside someone who couldn’t love them back? Who would want to go through all the motions of affection without actually having it?

Sam, apparently.

Matthias nodded slightly, walking off in the direction of the gardens he’d yet to explore. That was their original destination, after all. His silence was heavier than usual, his mind churning with the confirmation of his suspicions. Also, he wondered why he cared if Sam was happy or not? Okay, so maybe Matthias has grown fond of his companion. He chose, Sam, after all. Didn’t that make Sam his?

Oh, Sam could have more, just not emotionally.

“Have you fallen in love with me?” There’s no playfulness in his tone. No, he’s actually taking Sam’s feelings seriously.

As they walked, Sam looked at all the plants around them. They were absolutely stunning and he loved beholding them. But he was soon pulled from his thoughts by that question, one that he could tell was taking his feelings into consideration. He watched him for a time and then looked back to the plants around them.

For a time, he was quiet, gathering his thoughts together to figure out what to actually say. What would be good to even say here?

Only he already knew the answer. The truth.

"I fell in love with you years ago. Back in our early days in America." And then he'd kept his feelings to himself and loved Matthias all this time. Never telling him or letting him know until now. Always aware that he wouldn't have his feelings returned. Was it a punishment? No. Not at all. Just an acceptance that this was how life was for him now. This was who he'd fallen for.

"I don't know if demons are capable of love so I thought that at least I could enjoy my time with you until you grew tired of me. It has just been nice that you still haven't. That you still come home to me every single night and stay with me while I sleep. I know I'm an entertaining meal for you but at least I get to see you smile and laugh. And, even though at times it hurts, I'd rather have that than nothing at all."

He didn’t have to say a thing for Matthias to suspect it. And Matthias never asked. It’s not that he doesn’t enjoy complication. When he toyed with others, it was always complicated. But things with Sam were always straightforward. Out of respect, he didn’t try to manipulate Sam for anything. It wasn’t necessary.

Could he admit that Sam was more than just a meal? He was someone Matthias viewed, at the very least, as a friend. Not only did he make Matthias’ existence easier, he made it comfortable. He was like a beacon that always led the demon home no matter what he got up to. Sam was home.

But Matthias wasn’t capable of loving someone (or so he thought). It’s not in his nature to have those kinds of warm, soft feelings for others. Keeping his gaze fixed directly ahead, Matthias exhaled slowly. He couldn’t give Sam what he wanted but…

“We can be lovers, if you want.”

"You don't have to appease me, Matthias. If we're only ever friends then I'll be happy still. As long as I can be with you then it's enough for me."

Because it was better than not having Matthias at all. Better than having his heart ache for him and never getting to see him. To laugh and smile with him. To see how he relaxed when he played with his hair. Or how comfortable it was to know he was there while slept.

Sam knew that it was like living off of droplets of water in a desert and yet...

And yet he didn't want to stop.

"I live with so many regrets in my life that I worry being lovers with you while knowing I'll never have your heart will give me the one regret that will destroy me. I can't bring myself to do that knowing that you enjoy being able to feed off of me. Though I've dreamed of being with you that way..." Sam sighed and shook his head. "I'm content as I am."

He’s content. Was that enough? Was it when Matthias could take him to all the beautiful places, could kiss him senseless in each of them he could never go back to them without tasting Matthias like blood in his mouth? Was content enough when Matthias could make it seem so very real? He’s done it before. Over and over again, he’s made people fall for him, convinced them of the reality of it, that he couldn’t live without them, that his passion for them was endless, that none other would ever be in his heart.

But Sam knew better. No amount of pretending could undo that fact.

“For what it’s worth, no one else will have it, either.”

The words felt hollow, almost cold, even as he spoke them. Another huff of exhaled breath and he reached out to catch Sam’s arm once again to stop him in his tracks.

“I chose you, Su-bin. That makes you mine.”

There. That felt more truthful. Matthias did endeavor to be honest with Sam when it really mattered.

Stopping in his tracks, he looked back to his demon friend. He'd chosen him and that made him belong to Matthias. A smile formed on his lips that didn't quite reach his eyes, a sadness lingering there. While this was true and he knew that it was...it wouldn't change that he could give all of himself to Matthias and never have all of him in return.

"You did. And I am."

He'd embraced that and accepted it long ago. Stepping closer, he reached out to rest and hand over where Matthias' chest. There he rested it a moment, quiet and thoughtful. "I chose you but I can't make you mine. So I'll always be yours until you tire of me. Then I'll probably be lost to the wanderings of time like so many others you have claimed."

His hand lowered and he lifted his gaze to look into his eyes. "You can't love me and I know that. But you'll always have my love regardless of that. There will never be any other but you for me until time claims me finally."

Then he tilted his head a little. "May I ask why you are trying so hard to reassure me right now? It's not like you. You usually just leave me to my feelings and find your pleasures elsewhere."

Why, indeed? It’s unlike Matthias. A crease formed between his brows and the demon frowned in earnest. Nothing Sam said was untrue. As far as Matthias was concerned, he had no heart to give, not in a metaphorical sense. What didn’t sit well with him was that he didn’t want Sam to be unhappy.

But why? He’s never felt this way with any humans he’s toyed with. Oh, they were his in the sense that he didn’t want anyone else messing with them or hurting them while he could still wring something worth devouring out of them. But Sam had never been some mere plaything. An easy meal? Sure. Somewhere along the line, he became a companion Matthias looked upon fondly.

“Do you think you don’t bring me pleasure?” Perhaps not pleasure of a sexual nature, but other kinds, certainly.

"I bring you some but I assume I can't bring you everything since you often go to play with others."

Which made sense to him. Sam was probably not that exciting really. And if Matthias didn't love him then what reason would he have to actually stay with him? What reason to want to prioritize him over his own desires? In the depths of his depressions it could break his heart but the rest of the time he just embraced it.

"You have no reason to stay with me all the time. Your satisfactions have to come from somewhere else I assume."

For a long moment, Matthias just stared at the wolf. Something clouded his dark eyes, making them seem unreadable for an instant. There was too much warring in his mind to let it show. Enough of it already had.

Time stretched on until it seemed as if Matthias might say nothing more at all. He even moved as if he might turn away to return to their stroll, then stopped. Not once, but twice.

“Do you want me to stop?”

There was...there was something going on in Matthias' mind. These expressions weren't anything that he'd ever seen before. Frowning, he tried to understand them, tried to comprehend... But in the end he just couldn't. He even reached out to stop him from walking further but then his friend stopped entirely.

"...stop? Stop what?"

What was he asking him?

“Finding pleasures elsewhere,” he answer without a moment’s thought. “Do you want me to stop?” For you I will, his eyes seemed to say. Matthias was sure his heart beat faster with that question. He was sure Sam could hear it, that physical manifestation of anxiousness that came out of nowhere. Why was he anxious? What did he have to worry about?

Sam's eyes widened in surprise. That was what he'd meant? And he even looked like he'd actually do it too. For him. But...but why? He had no reason to since he had no feelings for him.

...did he have no feelings for him? He could tell that Matthias was getting anxious, something that wasn't typical for him. He never worried about things like this. So why...

Reaching out, he cupped his cheek and looked down into those dark, dark eyes. "Describe how you feel when you think about me, please. I want to... I need to hear it."

Once more, Matthias’ brows furrowed. He owed Sam a careful examination, an honest answer. Self-reflection like this wasn’t something the demon enjoyed. He much preferred being flighty and spontaneous, without depth or care. And yet…

He cared about Sam. Cared about his feelings and his well-being. Even missed him if they were parted for any significant amount of time (it’s been known to happen if Matthias chose to spend a few days or more with one of his playthings).

“You’re…” Mine felt like a non-answer.

“I, he began again, “want to keep you safe… from danger, from pain. I strive to be honest with you when it matters most.” That’s not something Matthias can say for most. He lies and twists as easily as he breathes. “You are simultaneously the light that leads me home and home itself.”

All uttered in slow, broken thoughts, as if spoken as they came to his head without any filter.

Watching him, he listened to what he had to say. Every single detail of it. It wasn't much but it spoke volumes of something that Sam hadn't been sure was even possible for a demon. As far as he'd known they couldn't love. They just couldn't. They were too selfish for all of that. Yet there was nothing selfish about anything that Matthias had just said.

Not only that but he was willing to put aside his own pleasures to be just...his? Really? Sam watched him a moment longer then swallowed before speaking.

"Matthias, that is how I feel about you when I tell you that I love you..."

Cue those inky eyes blinking. Several times.

“… What?”

That’s… not possible. Demons weren’t wired for those softer feelings. In all his very long life, Matthias has never once heard of one of his kind loving another. They just weren’t built for it.

So how…? Why…?

"What you've described to me, all of that, is a feeling of...love." For Sam somehow. He had no idea how it was possible and yet here they were talking about it. "More than that you're a selfish creature who has decided to put everything about yourself aside. For me."

He didn't know how it was possible for a demon to love yet here they were. It was so surprising to say the least.

"I don't want to decide your feelings for you. I just wished to point out what I saw." He hesitated a moment then pressed forward.

"If you do love me then I'd have you as a lover and all that I be your only one."

Yes, Matthias was a selfish creature. Even now, he’s telling himself these feelings he has for Sam are borne of that. Sam was his, after all. His chosen companion for all these long years. But… didn’t that make Matthias’ Sam’s, too? Sam could part ways with him at any time. That was the deal: until one of them tired of the other.

Was the demon capable of love? He wasn’t convinced. All this could just be the byproduct of comfort mixed with his natural possessiveness. Yet, whatever doubts he had didn’t stop him from uttering, “I will accept you as my only one.”

Matthias didn't have to have said the words 'I love you' to him. He didn't because he'd said them by agreeing to have only Sam as his. Sam felt his heart beat faster as a moment he never thought would happen, well, did. This demon loved him and wanted to be with only him.

It was enough for Sam to dive forward to kiss Matthias for the first time. To really kiss him. Oh he'd given him affection in the past but never anything like this. Nothing with all of his feelings pouring out to offer to the demon.

God but he did love him. And his heart soared knowing that he was actually loved back.

That swoop forward, the sudden closing of the distance between them as much as Sam’s mouth on his took Matthias by surprise. The wolf had some height on him, so he was already looking up when they crashed together. The mask he’d pushed back onto his head earlier in the night toppled to the ground as he tipped his head back even further to meet Sam’s kiss.

He could taste it on Sam’s tongue: years of love and longing for him. It was like a drug that Matthias wanted more of. So he rose up on the balls of his feet, throwing his around Sam’s neck to keep the wolf close. He pried his tongue between Sam’s soft lips, sweeping into his mouth to map it out for the first time in all their years together.

He'd dreamed of this for years. Longed for it. Yet he'd never thought that he would have it. Kissing him now it almost didn't feel real. But his lips were so warm against his own, so real, so there. Sam moved his hands down so one arm could wrap around Matthias while his other hand cupped the back of his neck to support it. Tongues tangled as they got to know each other even more intimately than they ever had before.

When air was needed, Sam didn't stay far from those lips he could finally kiss so freely now. "I want you to be my mate. Will you allow me that honor?"

Matthias savored that kiss. The intensity of it sent a thrill skittering along his spine and left his heart beating fast. Gasping in a sip of air, he peered up at Sam from under his thick lashes. It almost seemed demure if not for the heat burning in his eyes. His fingers trailed along the back of Sam’s neck, toying at the shortest hair at his nape.
Matthias had a mind to make some smartass remark. ‘I wouldn’t say no.’ ‘If it makes you happy.’ He thought twice about that, not wanting to hurt Sam or seem half-hearted in such a moment as this. So, he nodded instead. And nodded again. “I will.”

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