bsumone | ❝ Nobody knows where you’re going ❞

Turning off the water, Gabriel paused and wondered how to help Dal feel better in this moment. Then he knew what he needed to do. Removing his own clothes, he got into the bath to slip in behind the smaller man, gently guiding him to lean back against him. Arms wrapped around him, he pressed a kiss to his hair as he just held him a moment.

"What was done to you was wrong. I'm sorry I cannot do anything to punish the ones responsible for hurting you. But I need you to know something."

Leaning back, he gently cupped Dal's chin to encourage him to look back at him. "I love you and I care about you. You don't have to face things like this alone anymore. You have me and I will always be there for you. I swear it."

Dal blinks when Gabriel begins to undress to join in the bath. It's not something he expects at all. Please forgive him when his wide eyes linger a little to long, drinking in the sight of him. Oh, sure, he saw Gabriel shirtless that one time before... But completely naked?

For a second his heart races. This is someone Dal wants to see this way. This is someone whose body he enjoys feeling pressed tight against his own. Every night the curled up together to sleep couldn't prepare Dal for the barrage of feelings washing over him now as Gabriel pulls him into those strong arms. Oh, Gabriel's held him before, but it's never been like this. And Dal isn't one to think twice about nudity, but something about being skin-to-skin with Gabriel just feels... good. Right.

Dal turns his head when Gabriel encourages it, meeting his eyes again. What he says stuns Dal. It takes a moment for them to sink in. All he's ever wanted, deep down inside, was for someone to love him. To really love him. His vision wobbles and it takes Dal a second to realize tears are welling in his eyes. Suddenly he squirms in Gabriel's embrace, moving until he's sitting on his knees facing the man and throwing his arms around his shoulders.

Letting Dal turn, he braced him to make sure he'd be alright. After all he still had all those drugs in him and so many bruises already. He didn't want him to get hurt more. But once he had him supported, he looked up at him then smiled as he felt those arms wrap around him.

Right away he gathered him close and ran his hand along his back to soothe and reassure him. He'd meant every word that he said. Gabriel had had these feelings for awhile now but almost losing Dal that one night weeks ago? That had been what really sealed everything in his mind. He loved this man that he held right now. Loved him with every fiber of his being and he was going to do everything in his power to always protect him and make him happy.

Gently, he kissed the side of his head as he encouraged him to sit on his lap so he wouldn't have to keep kneeling on the hard tub. "I have you. I have you now, Dal."

Dal indulged Gabriel's encouragement to make himself more comfortable. He's never been particularly uncomfortable with nudity, but somehow he suddenly feels a little self-conscious. Maybe because there are real and actual feelings involved? He draped his arms across Gabriel's shoulder -- they seem so much broader than when he's dressed! -- and trailed his fingers lightly along the nape of his neck.

This was the first time he's been in a bath since... No, no, it's okay because he's here with Gabriel.

"Will ya help me wash?"

"Yes. But first, let me know if you need to get out. I know baths are probably hard for you."

Leaning forward, he pressed a kiss to his forehead before grabbing the soap and a scrubber. Applying the soap to it, he brought to his skin and gently started to get him clean, always taking extra care around any bruises. The steam was getting to his glasses though so he paused to take them off and set them aside before continuing.

"Do you want me to wash your hair too? I'll want to dry it after if that's the case. I don't want you to get sick."

“It’s okay ‘cause you’re here.” There’s a shyness to the words, to the way his eyes flick down then back again. He trusts Gabriel. Dal knows if he feels panic, Gabriel will be right there to help him out of the bathtub. Everything will be alright, even if he’s afraid, at least he knows he’s safe.

Dal’s eyes fall closed, a quiet sigh slipping from his lips. This is the closest thing he can remember to anyone laying hands on him with genuine care. The scrubber feels nice, too, every swipe of it seeming to chip away at the filthy feeling Dal feels clinging to his skin. Each gentle stroke made all the sweat and semen and memories of rough handling fade.

He opens his eyes when Gabriel pauses, watching him take his glasses off, eyes moving over his features. He doesn’t look very different without them and he wonders how bad Gabriel’s vision might be since he wore them all the time. But his wonderings slide to the back of his mind at the next question. An eager nod and a little smile are the initial answers.

“Please.”

Then something in Dal’s eyes shifts and curiosity comes over his face. His fingers unlace behind Gabriel’s neck so he can trace the man’s features; his cheek, his jaw, the curve of his lips. Dal licks his own and exhales a quiet sigh. He knows it’s not the best time because his mind isn’t clear but…

“Can I kiss you?”

Gabriel paused when he felt Dal move. Watching him, he saw some clarity in those eyes. Even without his glasses he could see it. Smiling, he set aside what he'd been using and brought his hands up to gently cup that beautiful face instead. With his thumbs he gently stroked his cheeks and nodded.

"Yes. Come here."

With that, he encouraged him to come closer, leaning forward so he could gently press his lips to Dal's for their first kiss. If it turned out that the other wouldn't remember this later then he'd just kiss him again. But for now he let the contact linger a bit before pulling back and smiling at him, pushing strands of hair back from his face.

"From now on, you are welcome to kiss me anytime you want to. It's safe for us to be together now."

It doesn’t have to be some heated, deep kiss to be meaningful, not to Dal. He loves the way Gabriel’s hands feel against his face, big and strong and warm and oh-so-gentle. Leaning in to meet him halfway, Dal sighs softly and shivers with delight when their lips meet. It feels like a strike of lightning, prickling his skin. Oh, he hopes to remember this. He hopes so much!

When they part, Dal lifts his eyes shyly, smiling despite a flush of color settling on his cheeks. Ah, just looking Gabriel makes butterflies dance in his chest. He’s so lucky to have this man. His precious, handsome, kind man. Dal’s hand lingers against Gabriel’s cheek and he lets out another contented sigh.

“You’re so wonderful,” he gushes quietly. “’m sure I love you.”

Gabriel chuckled softly and gave him another little kiss. Just a brief one to let Dal know that he would always be getting these little affections as long as he wanted them. Then he cupped his face before reaching to grab a cup that was nearby.

"I love you too. Now close your eyes for me and I'll wash your hair. When we get out I'll dry it for you before we go to bed."

That way he could be absolutely sure that Dal wouldn't get sick on top of having been drugged.

The first time Dal showered after nearly being drowned was tough. Water in his face freaked him out. Getting too much water in his mouth still sends a jolt of panic through him. He has to face away from the shower spray now. So this makes him a little nervous. It shows in the way his shoulders stiffen and how, even though he nods, his fingers twitch and reach out to rest against one of Gabriel's shoulders.

Dark eyes fall closed and Dal sucks in a deep breath.

"Ready."

Gently, he tilted his head back then used his hand to make sure not a drop of water got onto his face. Only his hair was wet. Satisfied, he set the cup aside then got the shampoo so he could massage it in, keeping all his movements obvious and even murmuring what he was doing next so that way Dal would always be aware of what was happening to him.

After rinsing and conditioning, he rinsed one more time then gathered him close to embrace him. "You did so well. Good job, Dal. You're all done and we can get out when you're ready."

It was so relaxing. Dal’s lucky he didn’t fall asleep right then and there. With Gabriel’s hands in his hair, his soothing voice, and, of course, the drugs in his system, it was nothing short of miraculous that Dal was still conscious at all!

A quiet sigh slipped from his lips when Gabriel pulled him close. And Dal simply folded into him. He rested his head against the man’s shoulder, lifting a hand to lay on his chest, just above where his heart beat. Was this the first time they’ve been skin-to-skin? Dal’s pretty sure it was. It was comfortable and made him anxious at the same time. This wasn’t someone paying for him… This was someone who actually cared about him and that alone made Dal uncertain how he should behave.

“I’m ready,” he murmured, voice thick with sleep. But then Dal pulled back, peering at Gabriel through tired, half-lidded eyes. “You’re gonna stay with me, right? You’ll sleep next to me?”

He gave Dal the kindest of smiles and nodded before taking his head between his hands to pull him forward to kiss his forehead. "I'll be with you the whole night. I promise."

With that, he gathered him up so he could get them out of the bath, letting it drain behind them. Drying them both off with a towel, he brought Dal to the other room with a hair dryer then sat behind him so he could get his hair dried properly. He knew that the other was tired and needed sleep but he refused to let him get sick from having wet hair in bed.

Once the hair was dry he got himself dressed before helping Dal do the same and then tucked him into bed before getting in with him. Pulling him in close, he kissed the top of his head.

"Sleep. I'll be here when you wake up."

Those smiles were so nice. The way Gabriel looked at him was always so nice. Even in a state like this, Dal appreciated those things. The warmth, the kindness that just seemed to ooze out Gabriel’s every pore reached to the very heart of him. Even back in Seoul, he’d never known this kind of affection. Not from friends or family or even that boy he liked. He never imagined being this happy.

He nearly fell asleep where he sat while Gabriel dried his hair. He was already so tired and the warm air only enhanced that. He teetered a couple of times, flashing a sheepish grin when he started from the wobble. Even Gabriel’s clothes felt nice against his skin. Softer and a little bigger than Dal’s street clothes… which was all he owned. Pajamas haven’t been a necessary part of his life since he arrived in the US. He nestled into them, and Gabriel’s arms, sighing in content. Such a bad night turned into something so magical thanks to this man.

It wasn’t long before Dal was fast asleep. Almost as soon as his head hit the pillow, his breathing went deep and steady. Instinctively, he curled closer to Gabriel, attracted to his warmth even in unconsciousness. And thus he stayed for most of the night: still and dead to the world. Every now and then, he’d turn in Gabriel’s arms and let out some small sound.

When he did wake, it was late in the morning, almost close to noon. Sleep clung desperately to him and his body felt heavier than usual. And sore in ways it wasn’t used to. Dal blinked a few times, giving his eyes a moment or two to focus before he realized he didn’t know where he was. Not only that, his memory of the previous night was minimal, at best.

Dal bolted upright, panic lancing through him. He was wide-eyed as he looked around. No, nothing was familiar. He couldn’t even hear the familiar ambient noise of the restaurant below him or the city’s sounds outside. Looking down, even these clothes weren’t his. Where was he?

Edited (HTML fail) 2023-06-16 15:14 (UTC)

His mother had come while Dal was sleeping and Gabriel had slipped away long enough to have breakfast and talk to her about what happened. Of course she made extra food for Dal when he woke up, promising to come by later when he was awake. Then Gabriel had gone back up to collect his glasses and read while he held his new boyfriend against him.

Which meant he was right here when he woke up in a panic. Setting the book aside, he quickly shifted to get himself in front of him, offering him a comforting smile as he took his hands.

"It's alright, Dal. You're safe. This is my house. I came and got you last night and took care of you. Do you remember?"

He'd understand if most of that would be forgotten since there had been drugs involved. But he was willing to be patient and help him through this until his boyfriend could feel safe again. "You're safe. I promise."

Gabriel’s pretty safe to do as he wanted in the mornings. Dal’s been a night owl for so many years, shifting to a new sleep pattern will be difficult for him. So, for now, he’s not likely to wake much before noon.

Seeing Gabriel dulled that spike of anxiety and Dal clutched his hands so tightly it hurt his fingers. He sucked in a slow breath and tried to remember. It was mostly foggy, everything blurred around the edges like a barely remembered dream that left him with impressions instead of details.

What he did remember was a rare out-call. It was a repeat customer, someone he’d seen often enough that Dal accepted the unusual request. He remembered dim lights and music and people laughing. People, plural. A party? Couldn’t have been. He doesn’t do parties. A deep crease settled between his brows and Dal shook his head.

“I don’t remember…”

A frown tugged his lips down when he spotted the bruises around his wrists. Well, that would explain at least a few of his mystery aches.

“I thought… You don’t live in the city?”

"I don't. You called me last night and I drove into the city to find you then drove you back to my place. I got you cleaned up and taken care of then we went to bed."

Gabriel used his grip on those hands to pull him into his arms, onto his lap. Wrapping his arms around him, he gently stroked his hair and pressed a kiss to his temple. All to reassure Dal that he was safe and that he was going to be alright.

"I can give you some ibuprofen for the aches if you want. And I'll apply some more bruise cream for the bruises. Mama made food for you as well when she was here."

He smiled warmly at him and kissed his temple again.

"You're safe here. I won't let anyone hurt you anymore."

He came such a far way because Dal called him? just because Dal called him? Well, admittedly Dal only ever called when something was wrong. So even though he can’t clearly recall what happened, he still had the sense to know he was in trouble and to call Gabriel.

Curling up into those arms, Dal sighed with relief. He folded in as small as he could make himself. But the mention of food had a most predictable response: Dal’s stomach rumbled loudly. The rest could wait. Food was the priority.

But it felt so nice to be in Gabriel’s arms like this. It felt different from when they snuggled together in Gabriel’s hotel room in the city. There was nothing hovering over them now. Well, nothing but Dal’s job.

“I gotta go back,” he mumbled mournfully. He wanted his sketchbook, at the very least. Everything else was just stuff; stuff he didn’t realize Gabriel had the foresight to pick up last night.

"I already got your stuff last night. I grabbed everything that didn't look like it belonged there."

So maybe there were a couple things that weren't Dal's but he could always return them later. What mattered was that he got all of Dal's things. He smiled then gently patted his boyfriend's stomach.

"Let's get you something to eat and you can ask me anything you want to. Mama will stop by later so you can meet her too if you're feeling up to it. She's looking forward to meeting you."

“You did?” Dal peered up him, wide-eyed before the surprise melted into fondness. “So thoughtful,” he mused, a smile finally coming to his face. There really wasn’t much in the apartment: a couple of outfits, some socks, his many, many toiletries and collection of makeup, and the sketchbook.

Dal reached up to try to smooth his hair out. No doubt it was sticking out in all directions. And because Gabriel washed it for him last night, the natural waves in it were clear. The same hand moved to lay fingers against his own face.

“Can fix up before meetin’ her?” He wants to do his hair and put on some makeup. After whatever happened… he’s not sure he’s presentable. He’ll definitely want to make sure he’s wearing something that covers any bruises he hasn’t seen yet.

Without waiting for Gabriel’s answer, Dal wiggled out of his hold so they could go downstairs (which was where he presumed breakfast was – oh! He remembered that there were stairs! Maybe more would come back to him). Once he was on his feet, Dal reached out with both hands for Gabriel’s. “C’mon. I’m hungry!”

"Of course. I'll show you where your things are after you eat." Taking that hand, he chuckled softly then guided him downstairs, pointing out different rooms along the way so that Dal would know where everything was. And then when they got to the kitchen he went and got the food back onto the stove so he could start reheating it. Before long the smell of spices filled the air. Fresh chorizo with eggs and beans to be served with homemade salsa and tortillas.

"Would you like something to drink? I have water, juice, coffee, tea..." he asked over his shoulder as he kept preparing the food.

Dal paid close attention to the layout so he could make his way around without bothering Gabriel for directions every single time he wanted to move about. He also clutched at Gabriel’s hand with both of his own on the way to the kitchen. He felt some small spark of anxiety in being in an unfamiliar place, but he knew he’d be okay since it was Gabriel’s house and Gabriel was there.

Once in the kitchen, Dal sank down in a chair to watch Gabriel heat everything up. It smelled so good!

“Oh, coffee, please,” he answered quickly. “Got a headache.” Only a slight one, but he’s sure it’s from dehydration and the aftereffects of whatever he ingested last night. After just a few minutes, he cocked his head to one side. “Did ya help me clean up?” He smelled… fresh. Like soap. Not at all like sweat and sex.

"Of course." Pausing in what he was doing, he got coffee started, using some of the fresh grounds from that morning to make it. Then he went back to heating up the food that he had started. Looking back at him, he smiled and nodded.

"I did. You wanted to be clean before you went to sleep so I helped you have a bath and even washed and dried your hair."

And they'd also kissed and exchanged feelings but he wouldn't overwhelm him by saying that part. Not yet

A bath? Hadn’t he dreamt that? Dal didn’t do baths for two reasons: 1) his apartment didn’t have a bathtub and 2) some psycho tried to drown him in one very recently. Since that incident, though, Dal didn’t have many pleasant dreams about water. So it had to be real. His recollection was so vague, simply the sensation of water trickling down his neck, of fingers massaging his scalp… of lips against his.

That part he might be conflating with something else. He wasn’t really certain.

“You were in it, too.” It almost sounded like a question. All Dal wanted was confirmation. Though he was a little disappointed he only had snippets of impressions of recollections of their first time bathing together. That wasn’t Gabriel’s fault.

"I was. It looked like you needed me so I got in with you."

Putting the food on a couple plates, he brought them over and set them down so Dal could start eating while he went to go finish making the coffee. Then he brought those over as well before sitting down. Putting some of the ingredients in the tortilla, he started to eat, even doing the action slow enough that Dal could copy it if he wanted to.

"You were happier and more relaxed when you were able to lean against me and sit on my lap."

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