bsumone | ❝ A hierarchical society was only possible ❞

You have no idea what it's like having the most wanted man in several worlds as your best friend.

(( Truly a privilege he wouldn't exchange for anything. ))

Much like I have no idea WHY you still allow me to be your best friend.

[ he's forever grateful for it. and because of that, he'll never question it too much in case that helps esen to realize how terrible of a friendship this truly is.

as though esen hasn't already long since figured that out ]

Good question. I wonder about it myself.

(( No, he doesn't. Isnu is irreplaceable. Not just as ~the leader~ but he holds a place in Esen's life that no one else could fill. Inspirational leader, brother in arms, most dependable and loyal friend a man could ask for. ))

Do me a favour and don't wonder about it too much, okay?

[ he's not sure what he'd do without esen, honestly. not anymore ]

Speaking of favours, I have another one to ask you.

Anything for you, chief.

I know I don't need to stress to you how important to is that no one finds out about this but
Can you check on my parents for me?

I'll check on them personally.

(( Last he knew, they'd been moved off-world for their safety. It isn't as if all the surveillance and facial recognition software of their home hadn't identified who exactly Insu is. Esen and others of the home-world leadership decided it was best to have Insu's family moved, lest they be caught up in this and used by the government to lure him out. They didn't deserve that. Insu didn't deserve that either. ))

[ insu doesn't know where they are and he doesn't know how to contact them. all by design, of course. just as they'll never know where he is (few people ever do, beyond those travelling with him) or have any way to contact him. the more separation there is between insu and his family, the better. he's even gone out of his way to claim that he's estranged from them. employing his own methods to minimize the chance of them being used against him.

insu was the one who chose this route in life. not them ]

Thank you. I can't even begin to express how much I appreciate this. This and everything else you've done for them. And me.

(( Esen understood. He lives in secret dread of the government discovering his hand in the movement against them and targeting his mother and his sister. He fears the very idea of having to send them elsewhere, of never being able to see them again. Maybe that's why he cherishes his time with them so much. Every moment could be the last. ))

I know how important family is. You don't ever have to thank me for looking after yours.

[ insu fears the day that the government targets esen's family because of him. he's waiting for the day when it's found out that he spends time with these people and cares about them. he doesn't want to be the reason why esen has to send his family away. though if esen's family needs to be sent away because esen's involvement in the movement is discovered, it's still technically insu's fault and he'll treat it as such ]

No, that's exactly why I HAVE to thank you. Because family is important.
Tell your mom, too, that I'm sorry but I don't think I'll have time to stop by next time I'm home.

[ probably something he's said to esen countless times, at this point. any time he starts to feel down about his own family situation, he worries about esen's and wants separate himself from them a little. not entirely, but he wants to give them a little space ]

She'll understand.

(( Esen knows exactly what Insu's thinking at the moment. Would he feel any different if he were in Insu's place? Probably not. No, there's no 'probably' about it.

And what hurts most is that Esen can't even send Insu pictures for fear of the background being traced to whatever world their own. Or the signal from pressing send to when Insu receives it being traced. Every little thing could be a danger to him or his parents. Esen won't risk that. ))

[ even just talking like this is a risk. insu picks up a new phone every time he gets to a new world and tosses it before he leaves. he tries to avoid using names where he can. he takes every precaution he can think of aside from just cutting himself off from people entirely while he's off world, but he still feels like it'll never be enough. and it probably won't be ]

And you'll understand if I tell you something similar?

Understand, yes. Like it, no. But I know it's for the best.

(( The best being everyone's safety. Insu's always been utterly selfless in his devotion to this cause. They can't let their personal feelings interfere with their greater goals. It makes for lonely times. For Insu more than Esen. Esen isn't in hiding, he still has his family and something of a life outside of this. ))

Not saying for certain that it's come to that yet, just that we have to start thinking of that as a possibility

[ not that he has to tell esen that. it's something that's always been looming over their friendship. and it's not like it'll be the first or last time that insu's isolated himself in the name the safety of others, or in the name of the cause. it's lonely but necessary ]

It's never far from my mind, Chief.

(( That's just the reality of the life they chose. Even if Insu never speaks to him again, Esen would still consider him his dearest friend. Above and beyond that, he'll always be an inspiration -- not just to Esen. ))

[ insu worries that that's their future, that someday he'll have to cut himself off from esen and not look back. he worries that someday he'll have to stop seeing esen and speaking to him and just forget about him entirely. for the safety of everyone. for their home and its future.

is it selfish to sometimes resent the rebellion for what it's taken from him and will likely keep taking from him ]

Good.
No actually not good.
Make better friends! :)

There's no better friend than you.
It's only possible to make more local friends, I'm afraid.

There are plenty of better friends than me, I'm sure.
Like local! Local is better than someone who's barely around and who you sometimes don't hear from for months at a time.

You're right.
If we pretend for a moment that not being around isn't a necessity.

Necessity doesn't change the fact that I'm gone more than I'm there.
You still have a life outside of all of this. Do you have friends too?

Do my sisters count? If so, yes.

That's it?

It's hard to trust outside of our specific social circle, don't you think?

Just between us, it's hard to entirely trust within our specific social circle as well.

It's hard to trust. I just didn't want to sound cynical or anything.

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