bsumone | ❝ What am I? ❞

“Thanks.” There’s audible warmth in his voice. Silvio’s been nothing but kind and supportive, even before Simon spiraled. He’s never had many close friends, not since childhood, and it actually felt pretty good to have one now. Somehow, after confiding in Silvio, he felt somehow lighter.

Not only was he able to share his past with Silvio, Silvio’s attitude toward him didn’t change. He didn’t find Simon weak for the programming that’s been drilled into him. He certainly didn’t look at him with pity or disgust. He couldn’t, being blind. But his face never showed any sign of either. It was a relief and… Something Simon couldn’t quite put his finger on.

“Maybe we could start with a walk. I’d like to eventually learn my way around out there on my own.”

Silvio gave him a bright smile and finished up the last bite of his food. Pushing his plate aside, he rested his arms on the table. A walk to show him around huh? Damn right he'd love to do that with him. Since Simon lived here now he wanted to be able to show him all the beautiful parts of the forest.

"Sure. When you're done eating I'll show you around a bit. There's beautiful parts of the woods out here that I think you'll really like. Even if you are more used to city life."

“I won’t be long,” he promised. It took a few more minutes for him to finish what he could stomach. The rest? That could be saved for later. Once he’d had his fill, Simon also pushed his plate to the side, certain that Silvio heard the subtle scrape across the table.

“Did you want any help cleaning up before we go?”

Simon still needed to get his shoes on and a proper shirt for going out into the woods. Sure, he’s used to the hustle and bustle of the city, what with spending so much of his time in it, but he can appreciate why someone would prefer this setting. It’ll just take some time for him to get used to the quieter, more subtle ambient sounds of the forest.

"I'd love help. Might be better than me sniffing the plate for food particles over and over again."

Silvio laughed and gathered up his plate before bringing it to the kitchen. Grabbing things to pack away Simon's food for now so he could eat the rest later if he wanted to, he pointed to where things were for washing dishes. "You know, it's nice to have help again. It's been awhile since I last had someone around. Almost forgot how much I missed it."

Simon chuckled softly as he waited for Silvio to finish packing up his leftovers. Once that was done, he took the plate, along with any other dishes still on the table, to join the others by the sink. Since it was just the two of them, it didn’t take very long to get the dishes and pans washed, dried and put away. He did have to ask where most things went – partly because he’s been living in Silvio bedroom and also because he wanted to put them exactly where Silvio wanted them so the wolf could find them later.

“I’m happy to help. It’s the least I can do while I’m here.” He doesn’t mean to imply this living arrangement is temporary. Simon simply doesn’t want to assume it’s permanent and not ‘until you’re feeling well enough to shower and eat without someone prompting you to.’

“Can you give me a moment to get something else on before we walk?”

"While you're here? You planning on leaving?" Silvio gave him a 'look' despite the fact that he couldn't actually see him. Then he reached over to pat him on the back with a laugh. "When I moved you in here, I meant that you lived here now."

Another pat and he laughed again. "Now go change. I could go out without a shirt but I'll go grab one too."

With a wave, he made his way toward his room so he could grab a shirt from the closet.

He should’ve known that would be Silvio’s reply. He said ‘you’re coming to live with me.’ Live. Not ‘stay’ or ‘visit.’ Simon couldn’t help smiling just a little when Silvio gave him that look. It felt good to be welcomed and wanted in this space. It may not be what Simon’s used to, but it felt warm and lived in – very unlike his own home.

“Okay,” he answered, that faint smile audible in the single word.

Simon toddled off to the bedroom to find a clean pair of pants, jeans, and a t-shirt. He could’ve gone out in his sweatpants, but he wanted to sleep in them one more night before discarding them as ‘dirty.’ If he went out wandering in the woods with them, he might not be able to do that. He tugged some socks out and made his way to the door, shoes in hand.

“I’m ready when you are.”

Silvio hadn't thought to grab shoes, seemingly content to only be in loose pants and a shirt. Perhaps it wouldn't win any style awards but it was practical. If you were a werewolf anyway. Of course he hadn't been able to reveal that part to his friend yet but he knew he'd be able to get to that with time. Especially with the approaching full moon when he'd have to tell him he'd be gone for three days and that he would probably look worse for wear when he came back.

Damn that was going to be an awkward conversation.

He smiled at Simon for right now though and nodded for him to come with him. Setting them out on a trail, he slid his hands into his pockets as they walked. "I'll make sure the trails around here are more clearly marked in the future so you can always find your way into town and back here," he promised him.

“Um…” He was about to point out that Silvio hadn’t put shoes on, but they were already out the door before he got the words out. Maybe Silvio really was some kind of rugged mountain man. The thought made Simon smile a little, ducking his head as he walked.

“Thanks. I’d like that.” He’d be able to run again with clearer paths. And travel between here and the city.

“Have you lived here long, Silvio? You seem pretty comfortable here.”

"As long as I can remember. I was orphaned when I was just a baby and found by the people who raised me. Even after I lost them this is the only place I've known. And since I was blind...the only place I could recognize."

Silvio smiled a little but there was no sadness to it. As much as he missed his family, he wanted to spend his life living for them rather than mourning them.

What a good way to live. Or so Simon would think if he knew what was in Silvio’s head. He would also wish he wasn’t a prisoner of his past, too. Still, poor Silvio had to get lonely sometimes, out here all alone without any friends or family nearby. It made Simon feel a little better about encroaching in Silvio’s space.

But was it really encroaching when Silvio brought him here and already indicated he wanted Simon to stay?

“It’s nice here,” he added as he looked around. The woods were lovely, much quieter than Simon was used to, but the more they walked, the more he could hear the quiet symphony of the forest: birds and insects, the trees rustling… it’s very relaxing. “I can see why you stay.”

"It's home."

Silvio breathed in the fresh air and smiled a little. Reaching out, he gently tapped Simon's arm the beckoned for him to come with him off the trail with him. His smile said that he knew where they were going and he wouldn't lead him astray. Once he was sure he was following, he led him through the trees to where there was a small creek that eventually led to a waterfall.

"Welcome to one of my favorite spots in the forest," Silvio announced as he went to go sit on a rock to roll his pants up before dipping his feet in the water with a sigh. "You know the full moon is coming up."

It seemed a random thing to mention but he had a good reason for it.

Simon had no doubt that Silvio knew where he was going. If he’d lived here as long as it seemed he had, there was no reason he wouldn’t know his way around. Of course, Simon had no idea about Silvio’s supernaturally heightened sense to help him navigate the world.

Which meant there was no hiding the gasp when he beheld the scenery. This was the sort of spot he’s only seen in pictures or on TV. Simon scanned the area, taking in the sights and sounds around him. It was all so lovely! It took a few minutes for him to sit beside Silvio, imitating him in tugging the legs of his sweats up and dipping his feet in the cool water.

Silvio’s comment about the full moon earned a curious look from Simon. “…I didn’t. I don’t keep track of that stuff.”

"I have to go somewhere for the three days of the full moon. But I'll make sure that the house and paths are setup for you to be able to do anything you want while I'm gone."

Silvio wasn't quite sure how to really tell him he was a werewolf just yet. Simon already had so much crap going on. And now he was trying to process being affectionate with a guy without it having to be weird... It was a lot. He cared too much about Simon to really burden him like this. Maybe he even loved him too but that wasn't something he'd admit right now. He didn't want to scare him with everything he was.

"I'll probably look like hell when I come back but I'll be okay in a couple days," he promised him with a little smile that he directed at the water their feet was in.

Though Silvio’s smile was reassuring, Simon couldn’t stop a pang of worry. No, he won’t pry. If Silvio wanted him to know the details, he’d tell him. And, honestly, Silvio was right. Hearing that Silvio was something other than human, something Simon only knew of from stories and never imagined for a second was actually real would be a lot with everything else he’s trying to work through.

Simon might not appreciate Silvio’s thoughtfulness now – only because he didn’t know about it – but he will in the future, for sure.

“Is there anything I can do to make things easier when you get back?”

"Knowing you're still here and you're okay? That'll be everything I need."

Reaching out, he rested his hand on his shoulder and gave it a squeeze. Then he let his hand rest behind him as he let his head fall back to breathe in the air around them. So fresh. So comforting.

"Focus on getting better right now. I'll tell you more about it another time. I promise."

Focusing on his own dysfunction was usually the opposite of what Simon would do. Usually. There’s something of a relief in having someone know some of his Tragic Backstory™ and not react as poorly as Simon always imagined they would upon learning it. Maybe it’s just because it’s been so deeply ingrained in him to be disgusted with himself that he figured anyone else would be, too. But Silvio wasn’t put-off. No, not only was he completely accepting, but he was protective, too! That’s already a huge thing for Simon to experience.

He nodded, smiling slightly at his friend before turning his attention back to the landscape. “Alright. I can do that. But take care as best you can while you’re gone, too, okay?”

"I'll do my best. Promise." He'd probably have to hide the burns as best he could when he got back since those wouldn't be fully healed yet. But at least that way Simon would be able to see him. Weakened but there. Silvio usually took longer than about a day or two to get back to things but he'd have to rush it since he wasn't sure Simon would really understand the whole him being a werewolf thing yet.

His friend just had...a lot going on right now. Unfortunately. More than anything he wished he could take the burden off of him but he knew that just wasn't possible.

"It'll be next week so let's just focus on right now. Like how beautiful this place is."

“I can’t ask for anything more,” he returned gently. He could look after Silvio’s house while he was away – clean it, pick up groceries. Make sure everything was warm and welcoming when his friend returned.

Letting out a quiet breath, Simon nodded. It was often hard for him to get out of his head. That’s why he usually spent so much time working out or practicing. As long as he kept himself busy, he didn’t get lost in the past or worry about the future.

“It is beautiful,” he agreed. “Thanks for bringing me here.”

"I want to show you all kinds of beautiful things, Simon. I know what it's like to get so caught up in your head that you forget they're there. It honestly took me a long time to find them again after I went blind."

He turned his head to him with the warmest smile. Reaching over, he took Simon's hand in his briefly to hold it and give it a squeeze. Just a brief touch before let it go again to avoid making him uncomfortable while his friend was still getting used to things like that.

"You're a special person to me. If I can bring some light to your darkness so you can find your way out then I'll be happy."

Oh. Simon wasn't prepared for how hearing what Silvio said would jar him. He was also so careful not to let people close. It was safer to keep everyone at arm's length. Casual acquaintances, only a little friendly with the rest of his troupe. None of them really knew a lot about Simon. It was lonely but safe.

But Silvio's seen the worst of him, knew the worst about him. And yet he didn't shrink away. No, Silvio leaned in closer, not at all put off by Simon's worst.

His pulse stuttered and Simon sucked in a deep breath. Closing his eyes, he tipped his head down but dared to reach over just enough to brush his hand against Silvio's. "I don't know what to say."

Turning his hand over he made the silent offer that they could sit here and hold hands. But only if Simon wanted to take that step. He wouldn't push that further, just offer in case that was something his friend wanted to give a go.

"It's alright if you don't know what to say. Sometimes you don't have to say anything at all. I'll still be here for you."

He turned his head to him to give him a smile. "I'm really happy you're in my life."

It’s not like they haven’t spent time together before. How long has it been since they started running together? They’ve even hung out outside of that. A little shopping and food here and there. Even before Simon’s descent into a fresh spiral of self-loathing, Silvio was the closest thing to a friend he had. Showing up when Simon just wanted to disappear into his blanket burrito proved it.

No one else came. Not even the people he saw almost daily and spent the bulk of his time with. One weak ‘I’m sick’ and they stayed away. Silvio hadn’t bought it. More than that, he saw right through to the core of the issue.

And he stayed.

So when he felt Silvio move his hand, Simon blinked down at it. And looked a little longer. Simon breathed in deeply and held it in his chest, then moved his hand to lay on Silvio’s.

He smiled when he felt that hand rest over his own. Gently he threaded his fingers with Simon's, holding his hand as they listened to the nature around them, enjoying each other's company. It was nice, to say the very least. Because honestly it was so much more than just nice for Silvio who already cared so much about Simon.

Reaching over, he picked a little purple flower (not that he knew the color) and offered it over to his friend.

"A gift."

It would be a lie to say even this didn't make Simon feel... oddly. Not all in a bad way, though. His heart beat a bit faster, but not out of fear. More out of a thrill that this was something Silvio wanted to share with him. And something he could share with Silvio. A first step. A slow step.

That flower, though? It made Simon breathe out a warm laugh. Taking it in his free hand, he admired it for a moment before drawing it close enough to sniff.

"Purple is my favorite color," he explained.

❝ What am I? ❞

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)