He truly did respect them in a lot of ways. They were hard-working people who provided him with so much opportunity. They couldn't care for him themselves, so he had nannies and tutors, a housekeeper and a cook, even a driver to take him places he wanted to go. They did everything that could be expected of them given the way he is. So what if they were cold and distant as he got older? They'd never been around much when he was a child. So what if they couldn't love him for who he was? They did their duty as best they could.
Sometimes, in the early morning hours when Dal's lying in his bed trying to sleep, he wonders if they would've had a child if it hadn't been expected of them. Publicly, they'd been a model family. But if one looked too closely at family photos, they might notice the way his parents' smiles never seemed to make it to their eyes. How, as Dal came into his teenage years, he was in those photos less and less. Oh, but he remembered the disdain in his father's eyes so clearly the last time he saw the man. They were full of cold, and a certain resignation as if he always suspected...
Sometimes Dal still wonders about the boy his father caught him with. If he was hurt when his father pried him away from Dal and all but threw him out the door. If he's found someone to be himself with in all the intervening years. If he ever wonders what happened to Dal after he vanished...
And at the end of it all, Dal doesn't blame his parents for not loving him. It's a lot to ask of someone.
He didn't realize he'd fallen still and silent while recounting all of that in his head. Dark eyes blinked away the past and the sting it left. Without looking at him, Dal slowly reached over the table for Gabriel's hand, if he'd allow it.
"I dunno if it matters much but... you're a very important person to me." And not just because Gabriel saved him from being murdered. It had more to do with the way he treated Dal from the start. Like he was someone worthy of human decency and respect. Like what he did and who he was wasn't something shameful. Not that Dal believed what he did for money or who he found himself attracted to were shameful. But others did and they made no qualms of letting that be known. He ran away from a life of creature comforts so he could be free to be himself, wholly and completely. He'd never regret that, not even when the world was going dark around him in that bathtub. He didn't regret any of it.
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Sometimes, in the early morning hours when Dal's lying in his bed trying to sleep, he wonders if they would've had a child if it hadn't been expected of them. Publicly, they'd been a model family. But if one looked too closely at family photos, they might notice the way his parents' smiles never seemed to make it to their eyes. How, as Dal came into his teenage years, he was in those photos less and less. Oh, but he remembered the disdain in his father's eyes so clearly the last time he saw the man. They were full of cold, and a certain resignation as if he always suspected...
Sometimes Dal still wonders about the boy his father caught him with. If he was hurt when his father pried him away from Dal and all but threw him out the door. If he's found someone to be himself with in all the intervening years. If he ever wonders what happened to Dal after he vanished...
And at the end of it all, Dal doesn't blame his parents for not loving him. It's a lot to ask of someone.
He didn't realize he'd fallen still and silent while recounting all of that in his head. Dark eyes blinked away the past and the sting it left. Without looking at him, Dal slowly reached over the table for Gabriel's hand, if he'd allow it.
"I dunno if it matters much but... you're a very important person to me." And not just because Gabriel saved him from being murdered. It had more to do with the way he treated Dal from the start. Like he was someone worthy of human decency and respect. Like what he did and who he was wasn't something shameful. Not that Dal believed what he did for money or who he found himself attracted to were shameful. But others did and they made no qualms of letting that be known. He ran away from a life of creature comforts so he could be free to be himself, wholly and completely. He'd never regret that, not even when the world was going dark around him in that bathtub. He didn't regret any of it.