❝ temper us in fire ❞

[returnanew]

{ and we grow stronger }
💮 gaja 💮 cian brennan 💮

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[returnanew]

"Phoenix fire is unlike regular, earthly fire," he uttered. Would Cian really be safe? Ah, Gaja hoped so. Even with his renewed warning, Gaja didn't loosen his hold on the other. If he really could withstand the fire... There was no reason to let go, right?

"I might not remember you after..." Another important warning. A reborn phoenix, thankfully, didn't return to life with a newborn's mind. No, Gaja would know who and what he is, he'd understand complex language and ideas. But there were always holes in his memory after. He could remember people and his relationships to them from some earlier point in history. He could easily forget where he was and how he'd gotten there. Most of it came back with time, but he couldn't guarantee that he would remember Cian rescuing him from the garden.

[shydeath]

"It's alright." They barely knew each other anyway. It wouldn't hurt to not be remembered. He would just take care of him and make sure that he came out of his rebirth alright. So he could be strong enough to get away without his father hurting him somehow.

He didn't want his father to hurt him...

Cian nuzzled against his chest and closed his eyes. "Just as long as you aren't alone..."

[returnanew]

This was the period in any phoenix's lifecycle when they were most vulnerable to harm: those days leading up to their immolation and the days or weeks immediately after they've emerged from the ash. Not only because of the physical weakness but the fuzzy memory. Having someone who's willing to protect him is important to Gaja. He wants to remember that, this person who helped out of our pure kindness.

Gaja curled his fingers into the fabric Cian wore (for now), sighing gently at how cool the slight creature felt against him. It was the same relief as running ice on one's skin on a hot summer day. He clung to that, only letting go if Cian needed to move.

It didn't take more than a day for the fire to begin eating through Gaja's flesh from the inside. Once that started, his burning was typically short. Excruciating in its pain, but short. It was done and over in a matter of minutes, during which Gaja didn't make a sound. Or rather, he stopped existing in a matter of minutes. All the soft and fatty tissues burned away quickly, leaving only the bones and teeth behind. They, too, burned to ash within the passing of an hour, if even that long.

And when It was over, Cian would be left with a pile of ash in his bathtub. It's actually a pretty safe place to be as long as no one runs the water to wash Gaja down the drain. There's no wind that could scatter his remains here. No animals to come snooping and bat at the pile. No, this was very safe.

A day passed. Then another. A third came before that simple pile of ash seemed to shift and wiggle subtly like something very small was buried beneath it and trying to emerge. By the morning of the fourth day, the pile was gone and Gaja remained... In his bird form. But his plumage was no longer faded as it had been when Cian found him. No, now the bird was a spectacle of bright fiery oranges, reds, and yellows, though his colors were mottled with ash.

[shydeath]

The fire burned away all of his clothes but he didn't mind. When nothing but ash was left, he made sure that the bathroom was protected, lingering there whenever his father wasn't demanding his attention. So he was there when the bird emerged from the pile of ash. Resting against the side of the tub, he watched the beautiful bird slowly coming to life.

Reaching out, he gently stroked his feathers to brush away the ash. To reveal the colors now that he'd been reborn. A quiet little smile came to his lips as he watched him, giving him time to come to and see that he was safe and in his new life.

A part of him was already mourning sneaking him out of here though. Then he'd go back to his lonely life again. Longing for companionship and fearing what his father wanted him to be. But this was...not really a choice he had so far as he could tell. He could only just exist like this and try to save this one person who didn't deserve all of this.

[returnanew]

Gaja knew he was indoors. Bathroom, specifically. A very safe place for a phoenix to burn as long as the shower curtain and towels were tucked away. So someone brought him inside. Probably this pretty fellow sitting beside him, helping him preen the ash from his feathers. That gesture felt like trust. If this being wanted to do him harm, he could've done so already.

He chittered quietly, occasionally clacking his bill to express his gratitude. For some reason, Gaja knew he needed to be quiet. That memory remained. As well as the vague sense that he could, in fact, trust Cian. That animal instinct was always strong when he was first reborn. Normally, he wouldn't let anyone this close to him in this shape, let alone allow them to touch him.

After a few minutes of trying to get the ash off his plumage without shaking it out indoors, he let out an audible huff and stretched forward to nuzzle his bill against Cian's cheek.

[shydeath]

"Can water touch you now?" That voice that spoke was soft and a whisper, careful to not be loud. Less to keep from calling attention and more so he wouldn't hurt the precious bird somehow. A very real fear of his at all times since he hurt someone once when he was very small.

Stroking Gaja's head, he stayed still so he wouldn't startle him as he was nuzzled. "I can wash you clean of the ash."

[returnanew]

Though he couldn't speak human language in this shape, Gaja understood it. Something in the softness of that voice was so familiar. It wasn't quiet out of fear of being noticed, no, Gaja could sense a different, a deeper fear in it than that. Tucking himself back into the tub, the bird snapped its bill and made a gesture somewhat like a nod as if to say 'yes, water is safe now.'

[shydeath]

Nodding, Cian carefully got up and went over to sit on the edge of the tub with his feet in there. Grabbing the hose nozzle, he turned the water on and made sure the water would be comfortable. Then he started to gently spray it over those feathers to help the ash fall away. More and more colors were revealed and the banshee smiled a little as he saw them.

"Let me know if there are places I miss."

[returnanew]

Gaja replied with a soft cooing sort of sound. Once the water started, he shifted the bathtub, spreading his wings to aid Cian in getting the ash off. This all could've been easier if he just shifted into his human form. Alas, he is but a bird and, in this moment, was not capable of holding more than a handful of thoughts.

The warm water felt good. Gaja clicked and chittered happily, though still quietly, under the spray. He was careful to only shake himself a little so as not to splash Cian in the process. Please don't think him less dignified a creature if he does play a little in the water.

[shydeath]

Smiling more, Cian eventually just held the hose for him to enjoy the feel of the water. To play a little while he settled. He probably needed time. That was fine with him. His father was out right now so he had nothing but time to just stay with his new...friend? Was that what he was? He'd never been allowed to have anything like that or more before.

It was nice though. Even if it was only a short while. Just pretending for a time.

[returnanew]

Under normal circumstances, Gaja doesn't enjoy being wet. But he enjoys being dirty even less than being wet. After a few minutes of totally-not-playing-and-splashing, he finally gives himself a little shake and starts to waddle away from the water. That's enough, please and thank you. He's ready to be dry now.

The water made his colors a bit darker, more saturated, but he was definitely a bright thing. Unbeknownst to Cian, Gaja definitely considered him a friend. He only had an impression of him, but anyone willing to help him at his weakest was a friend in his mind. Gaja would've smiled and said 'thanks' if he were capable of it. Since he can't in this form, he just clicked his bill and, instead of following with a quiet chittering or deep chirp, the phoenix sang him a few soft notes.

[shydeath]

Eyes widening, he listened to the song, enchanted by it. He'd always wanted to hear a phoenix sing but had never been able to. This was an honor he never expected to have given who his family was. Cian listened quietly to the few notes then gave the bird a soft smile before reaching out to gently stroke his face. Turning the water off, he set the hose aside then just ran his fingers over him.

He didn't want his feathers to get messed up, after all. Best to help him get them in order at least.

"When you feel safe I will help you escape," he promised him.

[returnanew]

This was nice. He couldn't recall having anyone around immediately after being reborn. If it happened before, Gaja didn't remember it. SHaking a little more of the excess water from his feather, the bird cocked his head, peering with unmasked curiosity at Cian.

It was as if he was asking without you?

[shydeath]

Not understanding the tilt of that head, he just stroked his feathers and sighed a little. "You might not remember but it's dangerous here. So I'll help you get away so my father won't find you."

Another little sigh and he put his hands in his lap. "We can use the garden."

[returnanew]

Dangerous? Oh! Oh, that's right! This was a banshee's house! Then, this one helping him? That must be why he speaks so softly. Gaja made a small, mournful sound. No, he wasn't ready to leave at this moment. He wanted to let his feathers dry completely so he could properly fly. That would give him more time to spend with Cian. Cian, who helped him, but who seemed so heartbreakingly lonely.

Without any conscious thought on his part, Gaja's body shifted to take on his human form once more. He's capable of creating clothing when he changes, but since he was wet, this time he didn't. Or maybe because he didn't think of it. Just like his bird feathers, Gaja's hair was now obnoxiously bright orange. Blinking over at Cian, he simply said, "Come away with me."

[shydeath]

Gaja shifted before his eyes and he blinked in surprise. Oh he was ready to change already? He really must feel so much better. But more than that there was recognition in those eyes. Recognition of him. Eyes wide, he listened then gasped softly.

He couldn't have heard him right. That was impossible...

"What?"

[returnanew]

“You’re not happy here,” Gaja stated simply. “Something other than your power frightens you.” He paused, flicking his tongue across his lips. Lurching to the tub’s edge, the phoenix reached out to grasp Cian’s wrist. “You helped me. Let me help you.”

[shydeath]

Cian reached out on instinct to support him, keep him from falling. It got himself wet but he didn't care. They were just clothes and he couldn't get sick anyway. Licking his lips, he stared at the beautiful bird. "I...I don't want to put you in danger..."

[returnanew]

At that, Gaja chuckled. "If anyone's putting me in danger, it's me. I absolve you of that worry."

The mirth quickly faded away, leaving an expression far more serious than Gaja usually wore (not that Cian would know that yet). His fingers tighten ever so slightly around Cian's wrist as if he might just drag him away regardless of what the banshee says. They're warmer than a normal human's but not nearly as hot as his skin had been several days ago. Gaja tipped his chin down slightly, brows lifting as his gaze focused more intensely on Cian.

"Do you want to stay here?"

[shydeath]

The way his eyes opened so wide said how surprised he was very easily. No one, absolutely no one, had ever asked him that question before. Did he want to stay there? They just all let him know it was his duty to stay but never actually asked him what he wanted. Never.

And he was so startled by it that he hesitated to answer at first. He just...wasn't used to anyone caring about what he wanted. Enough so that he usually forgot what he wanted as a result.

Slowly, he shook his head before he even realized it.

[returnanew]

Though he's only just been reborn, Gaja recognizes that look. It's the face of someone who's never been given a choice. How pitiable. But Gaja refused to pity him. Cian's making a choice now and that's brave of him. He made a choice to help the phoenix, too. He's clearly someone who wants autonomy. And that's all Gaja's offering: a taste of freedom. If Cian decides he wants to return to this house, that will be his choice, too.

As it should be.

"Tell me," he urges. "Say the word and I'll take you away."

[shydeath]

If his heart could beat it would be rushing, pounding right out of his chest honestly. Instead he was just left in shock, mouth opening and closing. He really did want what Gaja was offering, more than he fully could even comprehend. Yet he was so scared. So scared of what saying yes could mean. Biting his lip, he tried to resist the urge because could he really escape this life? Was it even possible?

But then suddenly he was speaking again before he realized it.

"I don't want this life..." The words were whispered so softly they were almost inaudible. But they were said.

[returnanew]

Gaja's hold on Cian's wrist didn't loosen at the utterance. Nor did it tighten. Raking his freehand through that fiery hair, Gaja nodded once. They should leave soon. The sooner the better if Cian's fear of what's in this house is any indication.

"Is it safe to go outside now?"

[shydeath]

It had been safe when he came in here but now? Now he wasn't sure. Time had passed since then and that worried him. He looked to the door then back to Gaja.

"The servant passages are..."

That was the safest way to get outside from here.

[returnanew]

His fingers slip from Cian's wrist to clasp his hand. Carefully, he lifts a foot to step over the edge of the bathtub. There's an urgency to the gesture, burning in those dark eyes. Is he worried Cian will change his mind? Maybe.

"Show me."